April 21, 2006
Master the Random Encounter
Can a cup of coffee make a difference in your career?
Sometimes a random encounter is the best way to make a business connection and help create some buzz. I call these opportunities “Starbucks Moments”. A Starbucks Moment is your chance to meet someone who can potentially help your career or your business or at a minimum just be an interesting person to talk to.
Why a Starbucks Moment? Why that particular name?
Starbucks has a powerful brand that attracts people to its shops like magnets. This attraction does not discriminate. Just about everybody goes to Starbucks. Smart people. Rich people. Successful people. They all head into Starbucks for their daily dose of caffeine.
The one thing that almost every customer at Starbucks has in common is that most of the drinks must be made by someone behind the counter. This process is unavoidable and, even under the most ideal circumstances, it takes at least two minutes. This two-minute time period represents a moment of opportunity – and possibly the opportunity of a lifetime.
While you are waiting for your drink, there are almost always other people waiting in the same area for their drinks. This is a great opportunity to strike up a conversation. You have a captive audience. The other person is not going to leave before they get their drink.
There is a sense of commonality associated with a group of people all waiting for something. At Starbucks, you are all waiting for your drink. This creates a natural opportunity for a short conversation.
I am often asked how people can recognize an opportunity to strike up a conversation with someone else. After all, these don’t just happen in Starbucks.
There are a few key factors that make up a good opportunity for a random encounter.
- First - You and the person you would like to meet should, at that moment, share a common purpose such as - waiting for a drink, getting change for a vending machine, waiting for a hair appointment. Having something in common subconsciously builds rapport.
- Next - The encounter should have a definite ending. At Starbucks you receive your drink and you’re gone, or the other person receives his drink and he’s gone. In the hairdresser’s waiting area, you know you will eventually be called in for your appointment.
- Also, for a short period, your audience is captive – at Starbucks they paid for their drink and they need to wait to receive it.
Overall, people don’t have their guard up in a casual environment, and they welcome a distraction from their wait.
Making a connection with someone in a casual setting is not that difficult. Once you see someone that you’d like to meet or talk to there are four steps that are important in this type of interaction.
- Allow the other person to assume a position of power. When you ask for advice, directions, or even something as simple as the time, who has the power? The person providing the information has the power and control of the interaction. They can walk away or refuse to answer. Most people, when they have control of a situation, are immediately more comfortable and less intimidated – which means they are more likely to be open and receptive. I have seen frantic businesspeople rushing to meetings on the streets of New York City stop and spend ten minutes explaining to a tourist how to get to a landmark.
- Establish common ground. You can do this by talking about a third party, a neutral subject, or an experience that everyone can relate to. The key here is to establish some sort of small emotional connection with the other person. You want them to feel what you feel.
- Compliment them and ask for some harmless information. You have now exchanged at least two sentences with the other person. The next step is to make him feel good. Say something like, “I could not help but admire your watch. Did you pick it because it is functional or because it looks great?” Now you should be off to the races. The idea is to get them to give you advice. Eventually you can work a question about where they work and what they do into the conversation.
- The “By the way.” After you have had your two-minute conversation and you prepare to leave, say something like, “Oh, by the way, my name is Dave,” and offer your hand for a handshake. Then you can say, “May I call you if I need some advice on _______?” They will most often respond affirmatively. If they don’t, just give them your business card and say that you enjoyed speaking with them.
Random encounters are great ways to continue to spread the word about your business or your personal brand. Try it the next time you are in a situation where there are other people and you have something in common – like waiting for a cup of coffee.
Filed under: Personal Marketing
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[…] • David Lorenzo teaches us how to take advange of chance meetings through Mastering the Random Encounter. […]
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View Dave Lorenzo's profile
Heard your podcast on this subject the other day. Great stuff!
Comment by FMF — April 21, 2006 @ 12:51
Thanks, FMF.
Comment by Dave Lorenzo — April 21, 2006 @ 12:53