Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

Many people never realize their full potential because they never overcome the influence of a disheartening naysayer. These critics can be anyone—a parent, spouse, friend, or colleague. While these cynics usually believe they are only looking out for your best interests, that is rarely the case. Their attitudes spring from a wide range of sources, but the central issue is that these people usually don’t believe in themselves and are intimidated by the success of others.

If you are being judged or put down by a naysayer, try this approach to overcome his negative influence and take positive steps for yourself: Tell him you appreciate his concern, but you believe in yourself completely and are confident you can succeed. Don’t validate his opinion by saying, “You’re probably right.” Validate your stance by affirming it. You don’t have to explain how you’re going to make it happen. Someone who is so negative toward you doesn’t really deserve to be let in on your aspirations. Remember, this is your life, and you are your own best advocate.

A few years ago, a woman I know, Sarah, decided to start her own catering business. She had some savings, and she decided to quit her full-time office job, work part-time to maintain a basic income level, and work on her business in her free time. During the start-up phase, her boyfriend was a bit skeptical. Sarah never felt that she had his support or encouragement, but she persisted with her dream anyway. As she began to find clients, increase her income, and invest more in her business, her boyfriend became increasingly critical of the ways in which she was doing business, advertising, and finding new clients. He told her that running her own business and not having a “real job” was a ridiculous idea that would never work.

Naturally, Sarah was disappointed in her boyfriend’s behavior, but she didn’t let that stop her. She continued working hard at her business, until eventually she was able to quit the part-time job and run her business full time. She was earning more money than she ever had, doing work that she loved, meeting new people, and making great connections. Her boyfriend become increasingly hostile and bitter, and the relationship did not last. Looking back, Sarah says that she thinks he was threatened by her success. He had followed the path of least resistance in his career, and though he made a good living and was well-respected in his field, he was not happy in that line of work. It’s a shame that he couldn’t celebrate Sarah’s success with her. She is a lovely person with a lot of ambition and talent.

Some of us are lucky enough to have the unconditional support of our loved ones. If you are not, however, don’t let it stop you. Don’t let someone else’s problems stand in the way of your success. They have nothing to do with you, and you can’t solve them. All you can do is make a great life for yourself, share your happiness with others, and inspire them to achieve their own greatness.

Filed under: Personal Strategic Planning
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