Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

No matter how friendly, nice, amiable, or cooperative you are, problems always come up eventually. In any relationship, personal or professional, miscommunication, misunderstandings, personality clashes, and stress are just a few of the factors that trigger conflict. Superachievers are no more immune to problems than they are to fear or failures. However, in the same way they work through their fears and forge ahead after failures, they employ effective conflict resolution strategies and keep the business environment friendly and productive. What is your approach to conflict and problem resolution? Confrontations are difficult for many people to handle. Here are a few guidelines you can use to improve your conflict resolution skills:

Communicate. The first thing you should do in a conflict situation is listen. Let the other person air his concerns. To show that you’re with him and that you care about his complaints, respond with body language or words (nodding, “mmm-hmmm”, “I see”). Once your counterpart has spoken his mind, explain your point of view. Be as clear and direct as possible. Keep it professional and rational. Keep emotions and personal issues out of it.

Ask—don’t order. Whatever you want, you have a much better chance of getting it if you ask nicely. Frame requests in non-threatening ways, such as: “Would you be willing to…?”, “Would you mind…?”, “Could I ask you to…?” Most people do not respond well when put on the defensive.

Focus on issues, not people. When discussing problems, focus on the issues themselves, not on the parties involved. If you’re consistently not getting your phone messages from someone, for example, say something like, “It’s important to me that I get my messages, and that hasn’t been happening lately”, rather than, “You never give me my messages.”

Suggest a solution. Once you understand what the other person needs, offer to make it happen. If the conversation goes very well, he’ll make his needs clear. Make sure he knows that you are willing and ready to correct the situation. What’s most important is not who’s wrong or right, but how the situation is handled.

Follow up. A few days later, check in with the person to make sure things have been settled to his satisfaction. This is a very important part of the process. It shows him that you truly care about your relationship and want everyone to benefit from it.

Filed under: Career Commonsense
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