One of the best ways to create value is by being the person who “gets things started”. People who can start things – projects, conversations, businesses etc. – are incredibly valuable. Taking a vision and making it a reality is difficult. Why is this?
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Do you recognize any of these behaviors?
Believe it or not, most people will relate to one or more of these statements.
We all make excuses from time-to-time. Sometimes these excuses are based in fear. Sometimes they are simply based in laziness (we embrace the path of least resistance).
There is a process you can use to make certain that you do not fall victim to excuses ever again. Here are the steps:
First admit to yourself that you are using an excuse to justify your inactivity.
Next think of the reasons why you should begin the tasks you are making excuses to avoid. What are some of the benefits you will receive if you undertake the activity? How will accomplishing the task make things better?
Finally, take some immediate action. Do something, anything that gets you one step closer to the completion of the task.
Humans are naturally resistant to change. We make excuses to help us justify (to ourselves) our irrational thinking. Reject excuses now and see how much more work you get done and how your life improves.
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Well, not exactly. You company is now legally required to keep track of all electronic communications. Here’s the story from the Associated Press:
“U.S. companies will need to keep track of all the e-mails, instant messages and other electronic documents generated by their employees thanks to new federal rules that go into effect Friday, legal experts say.
The rules, approved by the Supreme Court in April, require companies and other entities involved in federal litigation to produce “electronically stored information” as part of the discovery process, when evidence is shared by both sides before a trial.”
We have discussed this before:
Your Work Computer is Not Private
Honestly Boss, I went to that Porn Site by Accident
Do not, ever discuss looking for another job, anything illegal or a sexual trist on company time or through a company company communication vehicle. You have no right to privacy while using company equipment.
In fact, money, sex and drugs should be removed from the workplace conversation almost entirely (unless they relate to your work).
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Most people get into a comfortable career situation and it becomes easy for them to maintain the status quo. As time goes on, and they get caught in a tunnel of everyday activity, it becomes increasingly difficult to change. They become blinded to the vast opportunity that the world has to offer. Indeed, they come to believe the Three Lies of Career Limitation:
Security
Lie: My company may not offer me the opportunity to make terrific money or to control my own destiny, but it is a safe and secure place to work. While my performance is not recognized as outstanding, I can count on having a job to come to every single day.
Truth: The only security you will ever have is confidence in your talent, skills, and knowledge. If you are secure and self-aware, you will always be in demand. Even the most tenured and highest performing employee in a company faces the risk of being fired. The minute a company’s profits evaporate, so do the jobs. As we have seen in the cases of Enron, WorldCom, and others, profits can evaporate for a number of reasons that are outside of your control. Security only comes from controlling your own destiny.
Benefits
Lie: I’ll never get the (fill in the blank - pay, benefits, time off, tuition reimbursement, free meals) that I have here.
Truth: You can always do better. Outstanding athletes always find a team owner that will pay them more money than did their previous team. You have talent. There is a market for your talent. You simply need to identify your value and your market.
Loyalty
Lie: The company has been good to me all these years. I owe it to them to stay.
Truth: You don’t owe anyone anything. Your company is getting a lopsided return on their investment in you. It’s guaranteed that you have the potential to generate a minimum of ten times your salary in productivity for your company. If you are not currently doing so, someone is probably going to come and speak with you shortly.
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This is an interesting book by Robert Sutton and an interesting post by Guy Kawasaki.
Here are Guy’s top ten list of how to avoid being an A**hole:
Click here to read Guy’s detailed advice.
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Five irrational fears that commonly prevent people from pursuing their destinies are:
Fear of the Unknown. No one knows what the future brings. To some, this fact is exciting—to others, unsettling, at best. No matter where anybody’s coming from, they have no more power to predict the future than anyone else. The best any of us can do is to proceed as if we’re going to succeed. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, and take action toward your goals today.
Fear of Failure. What if you make a plan, announce your intentions, and do not achieve your goal? Most worry about what people will think of them in this case. What we should all keep in mind is that all great leaders endure numerous failures. Their persistence in the face of adversity is what sets them apart. They are not viewed as failures because they forge ahead to eventual success.
Fear of Commitment. Once we bind ourselves to one path, we often fear that we are eliminating the possibility of pursuing others. When you are following your passion, though, you are very unlikely to fear committing to it, as nothing else will compel you so much as your primary aim. If you hesitate and waver when you think about taking the first steps toward your goal, re-evaluate whether that’s what you really want.
Fear of Disapproval. Others may not like the choice you’ve made, even if that change improves your life. Reasons for this are numerous. Maybe they’d prefer that you continue on a path that benefits them. Perhaps they’re simply jealous. Successful people are confident in their ideas and don’t require outside validation. In fact, they are often motivated to prove others wrong. Because superachievers are unique, it is no surprise to them when others do not approve of their actions or ideas.
Fear of Success. If you do succeed, how will your life change? Will you always have to work harder? Will your old friends resent you and drift away? What other changes will result? First of all, the more success you attain, the more your energy will multiply and feed into work, which will make it more enjoyable and less stressful. Secondly, any friend who does not celebrate your success with you isn’t really a friend. Most of the changes that come with success will be positive, and you are in control of how you deal with them.
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A few things you can do without:
Naysayers and negative people. It’s hard enough to stay on track and get ahead without fearful, doubtful skeptics clouding your mind with uncertainty. If a friend is giving you a hard time about your career choices and not being supportive, first try asking him to be less critical. If that doesn’t work, tell him you won’t be discussing the topic of your career with him anymore. And if that doesn’t do the trick, considering putting some distance between the two of you. Don’t waste too much time or energy on anyone who’s not supportive of you. The less time you spend on negative people, the more you have to devote to your relationships with positive people who encourage you and foster success.
Commitment to dead-end projects. Whether you’re brand new to the workforce, climbing up the company ladder, or you’re an up-and-coming business owner, avoid work situations and projects that do not contribute to your long-term success. A common manifestation of the dead-end commitment is taking on work for little pay. Sure, if you’re breaking into a field that is entirely new to you, volunteering or working for peanuts is a good way to build up some experience. Otherwise, be proactive in seeking out opportunities that are rewarding in the ways that matter most to you. Don’t let yourself go too cheap.
Business partners who do not support you. If you’ve tried to earn a promotion or take on more challenging work to expand your professional horizons and your boss seems to be doing his best to hold you back, move on. Naturally, your company wants to get a return on its investment in you, but you need to benefit from the situation as well. If your boss or colleagues show a pattern of not supporting you in your larger career goals, find a place where you will be supported.
Letting go of the old and familiar (even if it’s bad) is sometimes a difficult thing to do. We’re comfortable with what we know, and we tend to adapt to our circumstances, no matter how unsatisfying they might be. But removing the dead weight from your life frees up tremendous energy to attack your goals and move into a shining future.
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Why don’t people keep the commitments they make?
This is a problem of epidemic proportion. Here are three examples from the past couple of weeks:
A/C Failure
My air conditioner broke last Monday. The superintendent from my building could not fix the problem. He called a repair service. They arrived on Wednesday. They removed my AC unit and they committed that I would have the unit back within three business days. It has been seven hot, sticky business days and I still don’t have air conditioning. The a/c repair company is not answering their phone.
Now, this company did not have to make a commitment to me on a return date. They chose to do that. Once they did, I believed that they would live up to it.
They have not.
Your Cell Phone Bill Will Be Right Next Month
I have been with my “reliable” cell phone carrier for years. My phone works everywhere. It even works on the railroad platform at Penn Station. The service is terrific. Their billing and customer service stink.
Granted, I have three phone lines and it might get confusing when you have more than one. One line is my phone – 1000 minutes – free nights and weekends. One line is my wife’s voice phone – 1000 minutes – free nights and weekends. The third line is my wife’s Blackberry – no voice, just unlimited data. (I used to have four lines but I ditched my Blackberry).
Every month the bill is wrong. Sometimes it’s the wrong plan. Sometimes it is the wrong plan assigned to the wrong line. Sometimes everything is wrong. Lately they have continued to bill me for the Blackberry I gave up.
I don’t call them anymore. I go right to the store and see the same people each month. I have resorted to getting a written note from each of the customer service reps when I visit them. The note says that they fixed the problem. I then bring the note to them the next month and ask what happened. Sometimes they are dumbfounded. Sometimes they don’t care. Every month they tell me that this time it’s “fixed for good”.
It never is.
We’ll be there between 10 and 2
Ah, the cable company. Why do they even give you a time? My high-speed Internet was out last week. Yeah. I know. No A/C and no cable modem. Tough week. I waited for an entire day only to be told that they made a mistake and “over-assigned” the tech in my area. I had to take a second day off and sit in the sweltering apartment and wait for the cable repair person.
He was again scheduled between 10 and 2. He showed up at 2:30.
So these are big companies and we’re not supposed to rely on them right? I don’t buy that, but many people I talk to never believe commitments made by people who work for large firms. That’s just sad.
What about the dry cleaner who offers “same day service” and never has a shirt ready by 5PM? What about the salesperson who sets the appointment for 2PM and shows up at 2:15? How about the waiter who promises that your lunch will not take more than an hour and is never seen again? These are individuals. They don’t think twice about letting people down.
I know that service failures happen. People are not perfect. Just don’t make the commitment if you can’t be certain you’ll deliver. Do what you say you’ll do. Is that too much to ask? When did integrity become optional?
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Most of us dream of having a career that brings us more enjoyment, excitement, fulfillment, money—or all of the above. Many of us are held back from pursuing our career aspirations, however, for myriad reasons. I asked some business associates:
What holds you back from pursuing your dream?
• Oftentimes, it’s sheer laziness or lack of motivation. I know that the time I have to get things done is evenings and weekends, but I get sucked into TV, going out with friends, whatever. It’s really hard to maintain focus. (David, accountant)
We can all relate to this. If no one had to work a day job, this would certainly be less of a problem! Most of us do, however, and if we aspire to something greater, we either have to work toward it in the framework of our day job or make time to pursue our goals in our spare time. I asked David to think about whether there were ways he could work on his goals at his current job or, if not, if he would be willing to commit to a certain amount of time each day spent on his goals. It might work for him to set aside a block of time each evening—say, 8:30 till 9:30. Some say it takes 21 days to establish a habit. Commit to a schedule for three weeks and see how it goes. Make a point of doing something every single day to move toward your goal.
• I have this idea that there’s too much competition. I want to start my own small design firm, but there are so many designers where I live, and I don’t know that I’d succeed in such a thriving market. My day job is stable, it pays pretty well, and I have the potential to advance. I guess striking out on my own feels too risky. (Tracy, graphic designer)
I asked Tracy to consider the possibility of starting up a design business part time, one client at a time. She can even volunteer or work for free at first to build up a portfolio and contacts, if she prefers. If she finds that work is taking off, she can move to part-time work for an employer and part-time work for herself. Then she’s only a short hop away from running her design business full time. No matter how much competition you have, you can find an edge and position yourself for success. You could well be the best in your field, if you only give yourself the opportunity.
• I guess I’m pretty comfortable where I’m at. Assuming more control means I have more responsibility. I don’t want my whole life to be consumed with work. Sometimes I do want more, but I haven’t mustered the energy to go for it yet. (Leslie, sales rep)
I discussed with Leslie my vision of Career Intensity and conveyed that the aim is not to work harder, but to work more efficiently with greater reward. If you’re truly happy where you are and don’t want a change, that’s fine. But if you do feel unfulfilled with your work and think there are better possibilities for you out there, you can have them. You don’t have to discard everything else in your life besides work to have an exciting career that means a lot to you. In fact, if you’re in the right line of work, it hardly feels like work at all.
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Here are the top 10 mistakes home-based business owners make as reported by AllBusiness.com:
Trying to fit a round business into a square house. Not all businesses can realistically succeed in a home-based location. Take a look at your needs for equipment, work space, storage, inventory, and employees and determine if it is simply too difficult to run your business from your home. Service-based businesses are typically easier to fit comfortably into a home than retail or manufacturing businesses. Many people learn the hard way by not being realistic up front.
Lack of motivation. It is easy to become distracted. A home business should be run in the same manner as an office-based business. You need to motivate yourself to go to work in the morning and maintain that motivation during the course of the day in order to succeed. For tips on remaining focused, see Avoiding Distractions in a Home-Based Business.
No room to grow. If you are fortunate and your home-based business is successful, you may need to expand. This may simply mean another computer or printer and perhaps space for an employee. It is important while setting up a home business environment to anticipate growth.
Over spending what you are saving on overhead. Too many business owners justify spending money on all sorts of equipment by not paying overhead. In the end they over spend. Watch your budget.
Forgetting to promote your company. It is not uncommon for home-based business owners to get a little too comfortable working in a relaxed environment. Too often this means not getting out and promoting the business. Email newsletters are a valuable means of promotion, and conferences, industry events, and even local chamber of commerce gatherings can help you build your customer base.
Not having a client-friendly environment. You may need to have clients come to your home. Too many home business owners have had to make excuses for their house, kids, dog, and the lawn sprinklers before sitting down with their clients. Set up the office portion of the house for business only.
Technical insufficiencies. Many home-based businesses are not dedicated or up-to-date. Your business computers should not be networked to the home computer where your children are hogging valuable bandwidth downloading games. And your technical equipment should be as state-of-the-art as you need and can afford.
Zoning nightmares. You may not know the zoning laws for your neighborhood, but your neighbors may be able to recite them. There are many stories of home business nightmares because of zoning laws. The more discrete your business is, the less likely you will have problems. However, read the zoning laws regardless.
Overlapping home and office. One of the advantages of working from a home-based office is that you can spend more time with your family. However, as much you love them, you need to have a separate office space and set some ground rules so you can work while other activities are taking place at home.
Lack of a business plan. Just because it is a home-based business does not mean you do not need a business plan. You should be taking your business just as seriously as if you were heading into any other type of business.
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Those who wish to intensify their careers are oftentimes held back by fear. Here are some of the most typical fears, and ideas for conquering them:
Fear of the Unknown. We tend to be comfortable with what we know and scared of what we don’t. What’s behind that door? What will happen if I try something I’ve never tried before? What will happen to me if I change my path significantly? The fact is there is never really a good time to get started doing work we need to do, and we will always have an excuse to put it off. You have to face your fears and simply take the first steps.
Fear of Failure. No one wants to fall short or be laughed at. What will happen to you if you try and do not succeed? The same thing that has happened to pretty much every successful person in history—you will get up and try again. Then you will probably fail again at some point in the future, yet continue to persist through setbacks. Every failure offers valuable lessons that you can’t learn any other way.
Fear of Commitment. If you commit to one path, what will you be missing out on? Will you be able to honor your commitments and follow through? Making a bold decision is scary. It’s binding. But remember that in that intention is power. Only when you commit fully can you realize the full extent of your potential.
Fear of Disapproval. Other people may not like the changes you make, even if they are good for you. Naturally, it helps to have the support of people you care about, but remember that you are in charge of your life and you can experience the most happiness and do the most good in the world if you follow your passions.
Fear of Success. .You might be afraid that if you achieve more, others will dislike you, shun you, or think you’re arrogant. Maybe you worry that you won’t be able to handle the pressure that comes with being successful. First, realize that people who turn on you during times of success are not your friends. Secondly, keep in mind that when you follow your passions, you attract energy, happiness, and continued success to your life.
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“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” –Alan Cohen
So many people remain frozen in jobs that do not fulfill them because they fear losing their security. The truth is that the only security you will ever have is confidence in your talents, skills, and knowledge. In today’s hire-and-fire world, the only people who are truly secure are those who love what they do and are motivated to learn, grow, renew themselves, and create value consistently. Building personal equity that is portable and permanent is the wisest thing you can do to secure your future.
Many people are afraid of change and fear the unknown. We often tend to imagine the worst case scenario, and dwell upon what we might lose, rather than what we might gain. This is natural, but what you need to keep in mind is that no one rose to great success by staying the same. No one got a great job without venturing out and trying something new. We don’t meet a partner, get new customers, make friends, or have new experiences without being open to change. Realize that the world lies before you, open to any possibilities you care to explore. Taking the steps to make great things happen is up to you.
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While visiting a client’s office the other day I heard a story about an executive who was fired for inappropriate use of company property. Specifically, this associate had been using his office computer to surf adult web sites. When he was confronted by his boss about the issue he was presented with some amazing statistics. Apparently, he spent an average of two hours and five minutes on adult sites daily. The boss even had the specific sites and the amount of time spent at each URL. This was a direct violation of the company’s code of conduct – which the executive received (and acknowledged receipt of ) when he was hired.
An employee should have no reasonable expectation of privacy while using the computer system at work. According to the 2005 Electronic Monitoring & Surveillance Survey conducted by the American Management Association (AMA) and The ePolicy Institute, 76% of the companies surveyed monitor workers’ web site connections. Many companies use special software to block connections to inappropriate sites. In the latest survey 65% of companies reported blocking some sites. This is a 27% increase since 2001.
The greatest concern for most employers is lost productivity. Certainly a worker who spends an average of over two hours on adult web sites could find a more productive use for his time. A close second to Internet monitoring is the monitoring of content in e-mail. In the latest survey, 55% of the employers reported reviewing workers’ e-mail. While most businesses are less concerned with your note to your buddies about where to watch the big game, they are concerned that e-mail and instant messaging creates a permanent record of an interaction. These records can be subpoenaed in the event of a lawsuit. In fact, 13% of the firms in the survey reported legal activity that was initiated as a result of an e-mail or instant message.
Companies routinely archive e-mail for their own protection. Many firms employ software that checks for key words such as the title of a secret project. Some companies scan out-bound documents for words such as “resume” or phrases like “references” or “salary history”. In some cases it may be difficult for a company to discipline an employee for sending such documents however it does provide some insight into their activity during the work-day. It can also provide some clues into potential areas prone to key defections.
Your employer’s right to monitor your use of company equipment does not begin and end with the computer. The number of employers who monitor the amount of time employees spend on the phone and track the numbers called has jumped to 51%, up from 9% in 2001. While improper use of the telephone is more difficult to prove, long phone calls to numbers that are obviously not work-related should be avoided at all costs.
The bottom line is that more employers are taking advantage of the technology that exists to track the use of company assets. Make sure your read your companies policies on e-mail, Internet and telephone usage carefully. Violation of these policy can be hazardous to your employment.
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Kiplingers Personal Finance recently offered its thoughts on seven career killers – mistakes that can seriously hinder your earning potential. These are the seven things that are often overlooked by young people entering the workforce. Here they are:
Procrastinating. Leaving things until the last minute is a definite hindrance to career success. Waiting too long to do an assignment almost always leads to mistakes.
Not dressing the part. How you present yourself will play a critical role in the progress of your career. You want to look put together and in control, not sloppy and indifferent. Keep your hair and nails trimmed, your clothes ironed and your breath smelling nice. Please, please use deodorant.
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Simply Fired has conducted a survey about Sex in the Workplace. 1217 men and 1260 women responded to their questions. Here are the highlights:
Can I say, for the record, that this is a bad idea. Sex in the office (call it office romance if you will) is serious career limiting behavior. It can only serve to hurt your reputation, your productivity and ultimately your employment status.
For more on sex at work, check out the following posts:
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MSN Careers has a bit of a different take on this topic than I do. Last week I posted my thoughts on office romance. In short, I said it was bad for your career. Careerbuilder (through MSN) gives you things to think about if you are going to find love in the next cube. They say:
“Mum’s the word. – While any secret is hard to keep, it’s best to wait a month or so before you share your romantic news publicly.
Avoid P.D.A.– While you may be completely comfortable with your relationship, public displays of affection, such hand-holding, caresses or even flirting can make others uncomfortable.
Watch the lov-e-mail. – Some companies prohibit the use of company e-mail systems for personal purposes.
Don’t talk about fight club.– As with any relationship, whether with a co-worker or someone outside the office, it’s best not to bring your arguments to work.
Keep things business as usual.– Do your job efficiently and creatively. You cannot let your work ethic be compromised. If your romance is affecting your work, you may be asked to end your relationship or find another job. You may have to decide between your career and your companion.
Love hurts.– Remember that people do break up. Make sure you remain professional and don’t burn bridges.”
All of this would be good advice if it were possible. The problem most people have is that they break most, if not all, of these rules.
I have a better idea, the minute you start up a romance in the office, just walk into your boss’s office and punch him right in the mouth. You’ll probably end up with the same outcome but you won’t have to go through the long painful process.
Be sure to read my previous post on this topic: Sex and Your Career
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I wish I had a dollar for each time this scenario occurred:
Boy meets girl in a work setting. There is an obvious physical attraction. Boy and girl “bump into each other” outside of the office. Flirtatious social relationship follows. This leads to wild, passionate, freaky, circus-like sex. Weeks pass and one party becomes disenamoured with the other. Relationship ends. Depression, anger and poor work performance follow. Awkward situations become the norm. Somebody gets fired.
Why do we get involved in sexual relationships with people in our work environment? After all, it is almost always a poor business decision. Here are some reasons why this happens:
Power is everything in the work environment. Many men (and some women) live to feel powerful. Sexual conquests, especially in a work setting, provide this feeling of power.
Work success breeds confidence. Many people who have never been particularly smooth in dealing with members of the opposite sex suddenly have a new-found confidence when they become successful at work. This confidence leads them to run around like dogs in heat.
Risk heightens excitement. People are often drawn to risky situations like moths are drawn to a flame. The emotion and passion of the moment get the best of them and they make a decision that feels good at the time but hurts their career in the long run.
This is a topic that can definitely be explored in greater detail. Look for additional posts in the future that discuss this issue.
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A recent college graduate I know was telling me that he feels pressured in various directions in his life. After talking more about his present situation, along with his history, he admitted that he had been spending a lot of his energy worrying about the expectations and happiness of others—in particular, the members of his immediate and extended family. In fact, though he felt compelled to move to a bigger city for greater career opportunities, he felt held back by the expectations of his loved ones that he remain close and immediately available to them. My advice to him was: There’s no better time than now to claim your own life.
We can only be truly effective in life, or in our career, when we act on our own intuition and respond to our own drives and needs. Sacrificing one’s own happiness and success for the contentment of others is never a worthwhile exchange. Don’t settle for a mediocre life that doesn’t fulfill you when you can live one that puts you on top of the world.
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This week, I have presented five irrational fears:
1. Fear of the Unknown
2. Fear of Failure
3. Fear of Commitment
4. Fear of Disapproval
5. Fear of Success
In additional to the topic-specific suggestions I have offered for overcoming each of these fears, I would like to suggest one all-encompassing strategy for annihilating trepidation in all facets of your life: put a time limit on the driver of your fear.
For people who feel immobilized by worry, putting an expiration date on the time period in question is a very effective strategy. Commit to try a new idea for three months. Bind yourself to trusting the unknowable future for one month. Try on one year of maximum success. When the clock runs out, you are free to choose between returning to your previous way of life or embracing the new. You have risked nothing but a short amount of time.
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The final fear I would like to discuss this week is the fear of success. Those wanting to embark on a journey to greater fulfillment, faced with the prospect of significant immediate and long-term change, often worry that:
a) Other people will not approve of their new life/career/choices.
b) The pressure of their new life may be too difficult to bear.
c) They will neglect their family, friends, or former responsibilities.
Point A is the fear of disapproval, which I discussed yesterday.
Point B is related to fear of the unknown. Ask yourself why you believe you will have a hard time managing your life once you achieve your aims. Consider the new energy and vitality you will enjoy when your career is unfolding successfully and satisfyingly.
Point C has an element of the fear of commitment about it. My suggestion for dealing with it, which I will come back to later today, is the same that I posed in that discussion on Wednesday: put a time limit on the driver of your fear.
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Those facing a significant life change often experience fear of disapproval. Perhaps your friends and family doubt your new ideas and don’t want to be troubled with you shaking things up. If everyone supports your current lifestyle and admires you for it, maybe it’s best not to change.
Successful people throughout history have been scorned for their choices. Most highly driven people, however, are not all that concerned with what people think of them. By their very definition, roads to great success are usually uncommon and unconventional.
To deal with this fear, practice standing up for your lifestyle. If someone disagrees that your choices are best for you, thank him for his concern and go right on your way. You don’t need everyone’s approval. Being who you are in spite of popular opinion will earn you respect in the long run.
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Fear of commitment is one of the more paradoxical of the five irrational fears. In most cases, a commitment-phobe is worried that in dedicating himself to something, he is either:
a) limiting himself and eliminating the possibility of his doing something else well, or
b) binding himself to something he is not capable of doing.
The root of point B is actually fear of failure, which I discussed yesterday.
Point A describes the agony of choice. These days, we are glutted with options. TV stations, Web sites, books, CDs, cars, mp3 players, even jeans (relaxed fit, slim fit, low-rise, boot-cut?), and, yes, career possibilities.
For those who feel overwhelmed with options and afraid to settle on just one, I have a simple suggestion: put a time limit on your fear. Instead of wasting energy worrying about whether you’re on the right path, why not fling yourself headlong into the area and find out exactly what you can accomplish? Putting a limit on the time commitment removes indecision and gives you the freedom to explore and grow.
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If your going to call in sick, don’t use these lines (they come to us from Careerbuilder and MSN):
These are actual examples of excuses people gave to their bosses when they called in sick.
As someone who has been on the receiving end of many bad “sick calls” I can tell you that I always respected the truth. People never want to feel stupid and using a line like this insults the intelligence of your boss. In the end, you have a responsibility to your employer to report to work as you are scheduled.
If you really are sick, you should stay home. Otherwise be straightforward with your boss. Try to work something out honestly before you resort to using a bad line.
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Fear of failure can be paralyzing. No one wants to lose respect, credibility, or reputation. However, what you must keep in mind when confronting your fear of failure is that almost all successful people have in their wake just as many defeats as triumphs, if not more. You don’t often hear about the failures and setbacks successful people have faced because the focus is almost always on their achievements.
Bravery has nothing to do with never failing—it manifests itself in going for what you want in spite of the risk of failure. Every defeat affords hard-won lessons. In fact, you can be proud that you earned those. A true winner is persistent and firmly resolved to execute her plan, no matter the obstacles.
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Each day this week, I am going to discuss one of the five irrational fears I outline in Career Intensity and suggest strategies for overcoming it.
Fear of the unknown is one of the most debilitating obstacles people face. Most people feel secure in familiar circumstances and are not comfortable risking what they have for uncertain rewards.
To train yourself to overcome this fear, start out taking small risks. Track your progress and see how often your efforts result in victory. You will probably succeed most of the time. Get acquainted with risk and condition yourself to take more significant leaps. Trust your intuition, but if that fails, trust the numbers and your track record.
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Many people stay in jobs they don’t like because they don’t want to give up their employment benefits and “security”. How secure is a person, though, who depends upon the company he loathes to look out for his best interests?
Author and entrepreneur Harry Browne says, “Security comes from your ability to deal with the world, not from a guarantee from someone else. When you know that you’re capable of dealing with whatever comes, you have the only security the world has to offer.”
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Smart Lemming points us to NetTemps website that lists Career Killers – things that will crush your advancement potential.
Here’s my favorite item from their list:
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Because irrational fears are learned, you can “unlearn” them by changing your thought process. Using the same principle as the rubber band exercise discussed earlier, every time you catch yourself thinking about the “negative consequences” of success, immediately change your thought pattern. For example, when you think that if you are successful, your friends will perceive you as arrogant, you should immediately recognize this as a self-limiting thought. Then you can unlearn the fear by thinking, “It is possible but not probable that people will perceive me as arrogant, but that will only happen if I allow my behavior toward my friends to change. I will be successful and I will not change my behavior toward my friends. I control my behavior and my reactions. My success will actually allow me to spend more time with my friends.”
Preparing for success is the best way to overcome both your conscious and unconscious fears. Each day, you should spend time visualizing the new successful you. Imagine your success in as much detail as possible. If you aspire to be a successful executive in a company – an Intrepreneur – picture yourself in a big chair in a large corner office. Imagine your friends coming in and out to see you. If your dream is to open a wildly successful business as an Entrepreneur, imagine all of your employees lining up to shake your hand because you have created a company that has transformed their lives.
When you use this visualization process you are actually participating in a form of exposure therapy. Your unconscious mind does not make a distinction between imagination and reality, so when you imagine yourself as a rich successful executive, your mind starts getting used to the image. The more you expose yourself to a situation you fear, the less potent the fear becomes. You should use visualization several times a day to help you overcome any conscious or unconscious fear you may have that will hold you back on your journey to fulfill your dreams.
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I came across a great post on K’s Blog the other day that reminded me that the office holiday party has been the Waterloo of many careers. We go into it innocently thinking it is one thing and we get massacred.
When you attend your holiday party this year remember that it is a business meeting. Don’t go to have some drinks and a good time. Drinking and work don’t mix. Partying and work don’t mix. You will only find yourself regretting it the next day (and probably for a lot longer than that).
Do your celebrating with friends and family. If you say something stupid to them they will probably keep you around (at least mine always do).
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As much as you want to be the best, you’re afraid that if you actually achieve more, others will dislike you, shun you, and think you’re arrogant. You may also feel that the pressure of being successful may be too great a load to bear or that you will never live up to the expectations of others.
It is true that it is easier to get to the top than it is to stay on top. This is partially due to increased competition and increased expectations that come along with success. However, the rewards of high achievement far outweigh the burden of the duty and responsibility associated with staying there.
People who dislike you when you attempt to control your own career destiny are not your friends. They might say things like, “You have a perfectly good job now” or “Why are you wasting your time with a book or learning program?” The best approach to take with a naysayer is to understand her motivations. First, mediocrity loves company. Deep down, insecure people resent the success of others in their peer group. Your success only highlights their mediocrity. Second, as you move toward your career goals, you may have less in common with those who do not take control of their own destiny. They may sense this and push you away. Third, your focus on self-improvement may temporarily shift your focus away from the attention you have previously given to other people, which causes them to resent you.
How you handle these individuals is entirely up to you. I prefer to thank my friends and relatives for their concern and then continue on with my aggressive pursuit of success. Once the people who really care about me gain a sense of how success has changed my life, they become supportive.
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Other people may not like the change you’ve made, even if that change improves your life. When it comes to making a change, gaining approval can be the wind in your sails. When people who are important to you are skeptical or disagree with you, you feel like you are running up hill.
When we were kids, we all craved the approval of our parents and the elders in our social environment. People who grow up never gaining the approval of their parents (or other influential individuals) can often have a fear of disapproval that will limit their career progression.
When I was in culinary school, I had a classmate named Jessica who baked beautiful cakes. She was a naturally talented pastry artist. Jessica’s cakes would often be entered into contests and she would almost always win one of the prizes. This was quite ironic because Jessica did not score well on the practical exams the school gave to students as they finished their training. When I asked Jessica how she could do so well in the contests and then so poorly on the exams, her answer gave me my first exposure to the negative power of the fear of disapproval.
She told me that, in the contests, she was just baking for herself. She was trying to make the best product she could. The feedback she received was direct and without detail. Either she was a winner or she was not.
In class, the instructors always found something wrong with her work. In an exam, even if she received an “A,” she would be given feedback that told her what she could have done better. This fear of negative feedback – of disapproval – led her to try to make everything perfect in the short period of time that she had to complete the work for the exam. It was an impossible task, and one that reinforced her core fear.
Successful individuals are confident in their ideas and don’t require outside validation. In fact, they are motivated to prove others wrong. Because super-achievers are unique, it is no surprise to them when others do not approve of their actions or their ideas.
Intrepreneurs and Entrepreneurs typically don’t take conventional paths toward their goals. When you stray from the conventional or the familiar, you are likely to draw some curiosity – and some disapproval – from others. At the end of the day, though, the only person you have to answer to is yourself. You owe yourself every opportunity to succeed. If you let an opportunity pass you by because you are concerned about the disapproval of another person, you are robbing yourself. You can’t let someone else determine your fate.
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Like each of us, you have a strong desire to do what you say you are going to do. The psychological need for your actions to match your words drives you to follow through on whatever commitments you make. That type of commitment implies hard work, and you’d rather not commit than compromise your integrity by failing to keep your word. This is especially true when you make a commitment to yourself.
The psychology of commitment is a mental Catch-22. Your impulse to keep your word – make your commitment come true - is so great that it causes you to avoid making commitments.
There are two ways to overcome this fear of commitment. The first is to contrast possibility with probability. If it is probable that you will accomplish the task at hand, then you should be able to make the commitment. For example, if you are asked to take on a job with tight deadlines and you are afraid that you will be unable to meet the deadlines, you may be reluctant to take the job. In reflecting on your work history, you can only think of one time when you did not meet a deadline – and that was due to the death of a family member. In this case, then, it is possible that you will miss deadlines but based on your track record, it is not probable.
The second way to tackle this fear is to view a large commitment as a series of smaller commitments. This is the one-day-at-a-time philosophy that has proved so successful in helping people break addictions. Your short-term concern is meeting your goal today. Before you know it, your days turn into months and your months turn into years. Each day of success becomes positive reinforcing behavior. In the process, the basis of your fear becomes familiar and is no longer a threat.
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What if the change you make isn’t for the better? What will people think of you? People will laugh at you if you fail, and you’ll be embarrassed.
A great way to approach this fear is to reflect upon successful people who have had very public failures and still managed to recover. One of my favorite examples concerns the repeated public failures of Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln lost his job as a clerk in a general store in 1831. He ran for the Illinois state legislature in 1832 and lost. In 1843 he failed to win his party’s nomination for a congressional seat. He tried running for the Illinois Senate in 1854. He lost. In 1858 he unsuccessfully ran for the U.S. Senate again. After each of those defeats, people laughed at Lincoln, yet in 1860, he was elected the 16th President of the United States. He has become one of history’s most respected figures. Most people do not know about his previous failures or that people laughed at him each time. Somehow, I do not think people were laughing at him when he gave the Gettysburg address.
The lesson to be learned is that history will be the ultimate judge of your success. You should not fear failure; each time you fail you are taking another step closer toward success.
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